el gecko

The photo I chose to write my blog on was entitled “Smith’s Green-Eyed Gecko.” It is a very interesting image indeed. This is due predominately to the main subject of this picture. It is, of course, smith’s green-eyed gecko. This little critter has earned it’s self a very prestigious title indeed. The smith’s green eyed gecko is, as we all know, the most chill animal on the planet. What makes me say this you may ask? I mean surely the sloth or perhaps the turtle must be more chill than the smith’s green eyed gecko. That, my friends, is where you’re wrong. Silly sloths and turtles can’t even begin to fathom how downright shill the smith’s green eyed gecko is! I mean, have you ever come across a gecko and been all like “AHHH! It’s a gecko! That’s not chill!” Well, I don’t know this, as I’ve most likely never been present on your lizard spotting expeditions. I can however tell you what my personal reaction to seeing a smith’s green eyed gecko is. First of all, there is a lot less yelling. I’m fairly certain the first words out of my mouth are “Oh hey, a smith’s green eyed gecko. That’s pretty chill.” Do you know why this is the first thing I say? Because it is the single most chill animal on the planet. It has green eyes for heaven’s sake! Smith must have been one chill dude to have this animal named exclusively after him! Let’s try a word association shall we? Tiger: not chill. Turtle: kinda chill. Grizzly bear: Ray Lewis. Smith’s green eyed gecko: The Baha Men, who happen to be the most chill band on the planet. Baha Men should play a set with the smith’s green eyed gecko on bass. That would be chill.

Natawny Jones

Top ten things about Nate:
10. His awesome ability as an athlete
9. His awesome ability as a lab partner
8. The fact that Mr. Currin limits his internet privileges, but not Pinky’s
7. The fact that he is Scottish
6. His friends, Monbrolito and Magic-Markers Herter
5. Knowledge of all things NFL related
4. Knowledge of all things college football related
3. Taste in music
2. His band is just fantastic; by the way, which one’s Pink?
1. His collegiate athlete impression

Walls.

Fear builds walls. How does one analyze this statement? Well, I analyze it as Mr. Currin watching the wall this weekend and deciding he could impress some of his students by making a quote from the movie a topic for his blogs in online publishing class. Oh wow, he has such great taste in music! He is soooo in touch with teenager’s tastes. He’s so unconventional! When I grow up, I want to be just like him! I can say these sarcastic and somewhat insulting things because Mr. Currin doesn’t read these anyways lol. By the way, Brad Childress got fired! That’s kinda lame. So is Vince Young being all whiney and walking out on the Titans. Grow up. But at least he’s gone now right?? In this holiday season, it’s important to remember the small blessings. Anyways, fear builds walls. There is a very involved backstory to this that I think you should all know. There is a man from Tuscaloosa Alabama I know. He works for his father’s construction company as a mason. The main job that that man does is stacking bricks to construct the foundation for many buildings. The man’s name is Lawrence D. Fear, hence, fear builds walls. Boom! Face! Done! Ha, I don’t even have 250 words yet, but I’m just gonna stop here, because I don’t even give a care! Step off yo!

Independance day starring will smith, tonight a 9/8 central only on TNT

What is my favorite holiday? My, what a difficult question to answer that is. (For an explanation of the first two sentences of this blog, see my last blog. It explains in whole). Well, for this on I would have to go with the fourth of July. This is not the most common answer I’m sure, but it’s mine. Why do I love this holiday so you may ask? Well, the answer lies in a combination. First and foremost, I love the history behind it. I think it is important to remember the founding fathers of America who defeated the communists on that fateful day in 1942. Despite the angry hoards of Russians that fell upon the city of Richmond Virginia riding their bears, the likes of Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington were able to defend their small army post until their Swedish reinforcements could arrive. The bravery displayed by those men and others like them is the spirit that makes America so great. What else makes this holiday so special you may ask? Well my personal favorite part of it is the time of the year. It is virtually the only holiday that you can celebrate for an entire month without any fear of your time being cut short! Furthermore, it is warm enough in July to move the fiesta outside. Who doesn’t prefer to celebrate under the stars as opposed to being stuck inside? For those of you who still don’t like the Fourth of July, I have just two words for you; red, white, and blue jello. This is the only holiday that allows us to display the colors that represent our national pride while enjoying a delicious sugar concoction. If you are still a skeptic, then shame on you. The Fourth of July rules.

what am I thankful for?

What am I thankful for? Now this is a very difficult question to answer, but before I answer that, I would like to talk about the significance of the first two sentences of my blog. They all seem to start the same way don’t they? I pose a question (which has already been posed to me by my teacher) then I go on to explain how it will be difficult to answer this question. I just realized that. My how boring that is. I won’t lie, I’m a little disappointed by the fact that my blogs are so repetitive and predictable. But anyway, what am I thankful for? Wait, let’s go back a minute. That’s another example of repetition in my blogs. I always go off on some long tangent about something seemingly irrelevant to the question posed to me that I repeated in the first sentence of my blog. This probably occurs for a number of reasons. The most likely reason however is that I am looking for extra words to fill the minimum word count required by my teacher. See Mr. Currin, this is what happens when you require us to write three hundred words. My god, I just found a few other sources of repetition! First of all, I always allude to the fact that I am rambling to fill the minimum word count. This often occurs in a cynical manner. Also, I always address my teacher Mr. Currin directly, despite the fact that he probably isn’t even reading this far. This is a testable thesis though, isn’t it? Mr. Currin, if you’re reading this statement, comment on this blog saying the code word “attentive.” Fool proof. But anyways, I am thankful for Michael Vick, because he got my fantasy team sixty four points yesterday, leading them to victory.

ALL I DO IS WINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is winning? Well, that is hard to say. Typically, for someone to be a winner, they must participate in some kind of open competition. This can be anything from a boxing match, to who can chug maple syrup the fastest. Typically, a competition such as this has a goal, such as knocking the other guy’s teeth out, or chugging a whole gallon of maple syrup, then knocking the other guy’s teeth out. The person who is best at completing these goals is said to be the winner. But how do you keep track of who does this the best? Well, a scoring system is usually applied here. This score is usually displayed on a score board of some sort. Judging from the variables above, we can derive this formula: assuming score one > score two, score one=victorious. Assuming score one < score two, score two is victorious. Assuming score 1 = score two, a victor cannot be determined from the information given. If a situation such as this occurs, a period of overtime will be required. Given the variable of overtime, assuming score one + any additional scoring post overtime > score two + any additional scoring post overtime, score one is victorious. Assuming score one + any additional scoring post overtime < score two + any additional scoring post overtime, score two is victorious. A different variant of over time is also popular throughout the sports world. This is known as sudden death over time. To be properly performed, one score must result in the end of competition, with the team who scored the point taking the victory. This can be represented by the following formulas: Assuming score one = score two pre overtime, score one + 1 point + a score congruent to victory. Assuming score one = score two pre overtime, score two + 1 point = a score congruent to victory. That is what winning is.

memorable quotes

Quotes to live by:
The first quote I live by comes from one Mr. Walter Sobchak: “You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.” This was prompted by a foot fault during a bowling match. Despite everyone insisting that this was no big deal, Mr. Sobchak knew better. He knows that there are rules to be followed, and that breaking them would be a travesty. I mean, this isn’t Vietnam, there are rules! I think that it is important to remember this, as it makes society a better place for all of us.
The next quote I live by is from Harvey Keitel in the 1994 classic Pulp Fiction. Harvey states “That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.” The reason I live by this is because I like to do important things with a sense of urgency. If one procrastinates long enough, things tend to never get done. I have a name for people that constantly procrastinate. I like to call those people pinkies, and nobody wants to be a pinky, right? So remember folks, always maintain a healthy sense of urgency!
My next quote really has no relevance to my life, but I like it anyway. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then somebody’s really good at training their dog.” I feel that this is a self-explanatory statement.

lunch for three

If I could have lunch with any three people, I would have probably never get lunch, because I would have such a difficult time deciding who to eat with. I do however think one choice is obvious. The first person I would select would have to be Paula Dean. This is so obvious, because somebody has to cook right? And Paula can cook like a champ! I can guarantee our lunch would consist of no less than three thousand calories and two sticks of butter. This would probably be the most delicious lunch I had ever eaten. I wouldn’t have time to talk to the other people, because I would be too busy talking about how delicious the rest of the food is. The other two people would have to be pretty impressive to distract me, so for my next selection I would take Jamarcus Russell. This may sound stupid to you, but I can only assume that at some point in my life I will land myself in jail, and I need a mentor. You know, someone to show me the ropes and make sure no funny prison movie stuff goes down. Also, I’m curious as to how he got so fat, so I could most likely get some closure on that one. The last person I would choose would be famous boxing official Mills Lane, because chances are things between Paula Dean and Jamarcus Russell would get pretty heated, and I at least want a fair fight. Go Paula!

thanksgiving yo

I celebrate a pretty traditional Thanksgiving with my family. Every year, I get up early to go hunting with my dad and grandfather. This usually doesn’t result in too much success, but despite the cold and boredom, It’s usually a pretty good time, and a chance to talk with my Grandpa. By the time I get home, I usually have just enough time to jump in a quick shower and make myself presentable. Then my whole family takes a ride over to my mom’s parent’s house to celebrate the holiday (I know, a bit of a cliché). Here, the celebration really kicks in to full gear. A good amount of my mom’s family show up to help the celebration, along with some good family friends. We spend a good portion of the evening watching football, and wondering why Detroit still gets to play on Thanksgiving. After a good amount of speculation on what’s wrong with the NFL, It’s finally time for the best part of the night. My favorite part of the holiday, hands down, is the food. We have every traditional holiday food imaginable to choose from. Selections range from turkey and ham to stuffing and mashed potatoes, with a lot of cranberry sauce and jello in between. After dinner is served, everyone makes an effort to clean up so we can get desert on the table faster. Our Thanksgiving desert usually consists of homemade cookies, ice cream, and no less than four varieties of pie. Everyone eats until they’ve had their fill then sets off for home on a full stomach.

Respek

Respect is kind of an abstract concept if you ask me. It can be described in a lot of different ways, but it is best demonstrated, so instead of trying to come up with some cliché definition, I’ll just list a few ways you can show it. They are as follows: keeping your distance from an angry bear, not murdering your second cousin, avoiding the state of Oklahoma in general, not murdering your second cousin’s nosy friend, cooperating with law enforcement, not cooperating with law enforcement, not making fun of the Buffalo Bill’s decision to claim Shawne Merriman off waivers, not throwing things at Tila Tequila during an ICP concert, not beating up Tila Tequila because you’re Shawne Merriman, Returning a missing dog, returning a missing hat, returning a missing copy of “Pulp Fiction,” Freeing hat McCoy, not stealing your neighbor’s wireless internet, not stealing cable, not kicking your dog due to the fact that “He just looked kickable,” not kicking your spouse for the same or a similar reason, asking consent prior to tickling somebody, not littering, turning off your high beams on a busy stretch of road, knocking before entering, not insisting on talking out of turn, not fighting with strangers, not fighting with the pope, not fighting at a funeral, not talking in the middle of an episode of “South Park,” not claiming Randy Moss off waivers, claiming Shawne Merriman off waivers, not entering a supermarket claiming that you are a mustard inspector and proceeding to dump copious amounts of mustard all over your face and body, and of course opening doors.

My Ideal Job

As a senior in high school, I have discovered it necessary to think of a career for my post-educational life. Some might consider a life as a cobbler, while others will still choose being a blacksmith. Some others will take a humble life working in the gristmill, but not me. Oh no, I have set my sights much higher! I hope to someday achieve the highest position in all the land. This job is reserved for only the most prestigious of folks, and carries with it some very important responsibilities. Ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about, of course, the king of Blueberry Mountain. That’s right folks, I’ll settle for nothing less than perfection. The king of Blueberry Mountain is not a position to be taken lightly. There is a great deal of work that goes along with the title. First of all, you must defend the city muffin from the invading troops of Bruce Vilanch. This is easier said than done. Bruce comes with hoards of hungry demons in hopes of depleting the town’s blueberry supply. Only the king, perched high in his fortress atop the mountain can direct troop movements against Bruce Vilanch. In addition to the defense of Blueberry Mountain, the king must be prepared to serve his people in any way possible. The main focus of his efforts is keeping the elders of the gum tree village happy, so that they keep electing him into office. This can be achieved by buying candy and giving foot massages. I realize that this may be a tricky bit of work, but I Think I’m cut out for it.