10/25-10/29 #1

Ah, Ryan Pinkowski. Where does one even begin to fathom the activities Ryan partakes in during his free time? All I know is that whatever it is, it makes him very sleepy. This is demonstrated by the almost constant tired and drawn out look in his face. The mystery activity also makes Ryan very, very happy. We know this to be true, because he always comes into school in the morning with a big smile on his face. This activity must take up a big portion of his life, because whatever it is, it distracts him to the point of not being able to perform his school work. This activity must be very important to him if he allows it to prohibit him from getting decent grades. We all know that grades are one of the most important things for a teenager to maintain, so whatever Ryan does in his spare time, it must be very important!!! The only thing that could possibly make sense is the thing I witnessed Ryan doing last Saturday evening. Ryan was teaching orphans to read from the bible all night! He taught them proper spelling, grammar, and even moral connotations. Clearly the fact that he stays up all night teaching orphans to read is the source of his sleepiness and inability to function in class. The satisfaction he gets from his job must be the source of the big smile he wears on his face almost every morning when he comes into school. Gee, what a great guy that Ryan Pinkowski is. I mean just think about it! He teaches orphans to read! While most other teenagers are out stealing from A-Plus, getting into fights, and using drugs in the streets, Ryan is busy showing the magic of literacy to under-privileged children. He is truly a source of inspiration for us all.