10/25-10/29 #2

Injuries are not fun. I think that this goes without saying. I, Johnny Law, wish to share with you a tale that explains one of my past injuries, but also demonstrates my obvious manly toughness. I assure you that this story is one hundred percent non-fiction, so please don’t doubt my authenticity. I’ll start this one from the top. The date was April the twenty-first 1996. I’d only been on the force for one year at the time, so I was still pretty much a rookie. It was a brisk day, and one that was just strange in general. Earlier that week, I had to deal with two hooligans that had a couple squirt guns, and were bingin’ da ruckus all over town! This was the first real action I had seen up until that point, and all the guys back at the station held me as a hero for this act of bravery. With the knowledge that I was the baddest cop in the force, I was ready to hit the streets once more. Now back to the twenty first. As I said before, this day was strange. It was like nothing bad was happening, so I figured the only logical thing to do would be to instigate the random teenagers around town until one of them did something irrational. That would be the only way to keep my title as the coolest cop in the town. The first few teenagers to walk by, I questioned them intensely. I poked one in the chest and he stepped back, saying he didn’t want any trouble. I knew he was lying right away, so I threw him to the ground and tried to cuff him. I decided this would be much easier if he was unconscious, so I kicked him in the head repeatedly. Eventually, I got the cuffs on him, and started taking him to the car. On the way over, I stubbed my toe on a rock, and it was all that trouble maker’s fault! He was later convicted of resisting arrest and assaulting an officer of the law. That wasn’t the end for me though. I suffered from post-traumatic stress for several years, and saw a police shrink for a while. I still have nightmares, but at least I’m still the coolest cop in town.