Gnome

So, let’s say one day you happen to be walking in your back yard, and your neighbor’s garden gnome approaches you. I can only imagine my initial reaction would be to say something along the lines of “Far out, a talking gnome. What’s good homie?” His retort would probably be something along the lines of “Not much dawg. Wanna buy some crack?” I, being a non-crack-smoking individual would proceed to walk away from this talking gnome, and approach the next talking gnome. I’d most likely say something cool like “Oh sweet, another talking garden gnome!” He, of course would have a joyous reaction upon realizing I spoke his gnome language which we call English, and shout “Right on! Let’s play some kickball!” I’d be like “Cool Gnome, you can chill with me whenever you want!” and he’d be like “word!” Then we would proceed to playing a very passionate game of kickball. It will be the best game of kickball either of us has ever played, and we’ll play kickball for hours on end in our talking-gnome-kickball-happy world. After that, the gnome and I will roll over to the local meadow, and frolic in the flowers until we can frolic no more. Next, we would probably breakdance to our heart’s content. After that, we would assemble a group of our more musically inclined friends and go sit atop a hill. We wouldn’t actually play our instruments at all, we would just sit there and look creative. Then, Gnome would take up his bass guitar and shout over to us “Hey guys, watch this! When I hold this bass guitar to my chin, it becomes an epic beard!” And he will bring peace to our happy world with music from his magical beard.